How can you call yourself a true homemaker if you can't make bread?
.........
Uh......well......about that........
When I was growing up, my parents both did the cooking. My mom loved to bake sweet breads, and my dad loved to make rice breads. Like with actual cooked rice inside. They both took turns making dinner; we'd have chicken and meatloaf with mom, and moose or stir-fry with dad. But like I said, they both really enjoyed baking breads.
When mom finished her loaf, it was always perfectly risen, with a smooth golden top. She would then run a stick of butter over it to make it flaky and crispy. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Dad, haha, he wasn't quite as delicate. His breads were always hearty and overflowing the pan. But super dang tasty. A whole loaf of his bread would be gone in just a few hours.
Mom taught me that sweetbreads were very sticky, and too keep my hands floured. Dad and I figured out together that if we put a loaf to rise in the dishwasher just after it finished its cycle, it would rise to gigantic proportions. In college, my first order of business was always to go to Sam's Club and stock my pantry with a 50 lb sack of flour. You see, I loved to bake for my roommates and their friends. They could always find a fresh loaf of bread, a batch of cookies, or a pan of sticky buns on the counter in the morning. What can I say? I was raised to be a compulsive baker.....
Then I got married, and my baking was stifled. My husband, I'm sad to say, doesn't like sweets. So I stopped baking as often. I mean, I make cookies every once in a while, but I don't have the scores of guests at my house every day clamoring for my food. Bread is just easier to buy at the grocery store sadly.
After a few (maybe three or four) attempts at bread in our married life that he liked (he loved my challah), Nick came home raving about the bread his buddy's wife had made. He also told me she made all of their bread, and it was super tasty. I felt a tad jealous after Nick said I should get the recipe from her, so the next day, I decided to have another go at it. It wasn't the first time he had suggested I get one of her recipes. However, I was going to do this all on my own, no recipe. I knew how to make bread just fine! The dough looked and felt right, so I left it to rise.
Our house was too cold. It never rose. I tried the dishwasher approach, but by then the damage was done. I decided to just cook it and hope it would rise a little in the oven. Well, it did, it rose to fill the pan, but never made it above the rim. The result was a petite golden dense loaf. Just my luck. Trying to one up the other wife and look what happened! But being the kind husband he is, he ate it. Said it tasted very good, it was just very dense.
Well, after the shame wore off, I tried again. This time I made sure to let the oven heat up a bit before I made my dough so there would be some heat for it to rise. And I followed a recipe for butter bread that I found in college. And, guess what? IT ROSE! Perfectly! My parents would be so proud. It had buttery flaky crust and made my house smell like a first class bakery. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a bite, but it did smell wonderful.
So I guess I am the perfect homemaker now. I made perfect bread, mwahahahahaha!
Butter Bread
4 tsp yeast
2 cups warm water
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter
2 eggs
pinch of salt
1 cup warm milk
6-7+ cups bread flour
Dissolve yeast in water and then add the sugar. As usual, let it froth up. Mix the warm milk and butter until the butter is all melted, then add to the yeast mixture. Beat the eggs before adding them to the yeast and milk. Then, with your dough hooks, knead in the flour until the dough is well formed. Knead on a floured surface for about 5 minutes to get the gluten all nice situated. Oil, cover, and let rise for about an hour. Punch the dough down slightly, cut in half and form into loaves to put in greased bread pans. Let them rise again for about half an hour, or until the dough is coming over the rims of the pans. Bake for 20 or so minutes at 350, until the tops are golden brown. Butter the tops while still hot! This will give you a nice flakey crust.
And trust me, this recipe has never failed. Works great as loaves, dinner rolls, even cinnamon rolls if you are so bold.
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